Remember Your Past!

Fact: My seventh grade history teacher made us listen to Rage Against the Machine's "Sleep Now in the Fire" about five times or more because he wanted to ridicule us about how little we knew about the bad things in American History. The only historical fact we knew about was the "Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria." So after he yelled us about that detail, he decided to tell us about agent orange and such examples. He also made us write down every single county in Texas (there are approximately 254 counties in Texas) about ten times because he wanted us to memorize them.
Fact: I kicked a boy in the shins in the seventh grade really hard right in front of the teacher because he was messing my hair. She gave me a pink slip and I told her that he provoked me and she gave him a pink slip too. He never forgave me for being a tattletale. That was my third and final pink slip.

Daydreaming It Up!

What do you want to be when you grow up? A loaded question. I simply want to be good. Good at my career, a good daughter and sister, etc. Of course, I would like to be many more things than just good, but doesn't everything whittle down to goodness? Maybe you would like to be great, or even better, the greatest. But so many people try to achieve greatness without goodness and crash and burn. And what I ask is straightforwardly this, when you look in the mirror right now do you see happiness, goodness, hilariousness, badness, craziness, or sadness? Do you see someone who is comfortable in their own skin or someone who will be constantly on the move for change? Because unless you don't stop and try to change, you will always be the same. A melancholy mood I might be in right now but it is no reason to get depressed at the life that lies ahead of me and what I want to be doing.

A Little Fall of Rain

Okay, firstly, I want to tell you that I am not going to tell you about how Susan Boyle’s speech inspired me to the point that I want to try out of America’s Got Talent in order so that I can be the next Susal Boyle. Nope. I am going to take you on a trip down memory lane. You must know that my family was a very strict family, so much so that the only music I really was allowed to listen to when I was younger was Classical music. There is no harm in classical music but sometimes it got a bit too boring for me. So, to find out that people could sing to music and make it sound better or worse truly fascinated me. The moment I realized this was because my mom had bough the Broadway version of Les Miserables on CD. She loved that musical and so did I. But I really wasn’t interested in the history of Les Miserables (which, by the way, did not center around the French Revolution but instead the Paris Uprising of 1832), nor did I care about Jean Valjean’s struggle to be good despite his dishonorable past. I only cared about Eponine and Marius. You see, Eponine loves Marius. Unfortunately, Marius is in love with Cosette (Jean Valjean’s kind of daughter – it really takes too long to explain) and Cosette is in love with Marius. This sucks for Eponine. When Marius fights in the uprising, he is almost shot but a man steps in to take the bullet for him. Marius then realizes that it isn’t a man, it’s Eponine. And as she lies dying in his arms she sings him a song. I know it sounds extremely cheesy but it is definitely a moment I will remember. And it’s so frustratingly sad.

Harriet the Spy: Genius or Idiot?

Did you ever read Harriet the Spy? Well, there is a part in the book where she is sitting in a diner or something and listening to the conversations there. After every conversation she guesses what they look like and what their connection was to the person they were talking to. And I believe that she was correct in labeling them except for in one case. I tried doing this multiple times and I failed miserably. After thinking a great deal about this failing I concluded that it wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t label them properly, it is because people are so different that even if a person might sound as being a fat, snobby, depressed woman, that person could actually be an anorexic, snobby, depressed woman. Therefore, Louise Fitzhugh, the author of Harriet the Spy, was never actually skilled in deciphering people based on how they converse with other people, she was mainly using stereotypes for Harriet so she could guess them easily and look like a genius to the twelve year old who was reading it.

Three little letters define my mood: ugh. Frustration, anger, and sadness all rolled into one.

Okay, today I am in a most awesome mood and I feel that not only am I in a good mood but the people who surrounded me are in a good mood. The thing about me is that I expect a lot and I always want good things to happen and plans to go smoothly (which now upon thinking about doesn’t everybody want that to happen?). Well obviously things never go as planned and I always end up being bummed. Now I have programmed my self to not get excited too much cos then the plans most always fall through…Gosh it’s three o’clock in the morning and I conked out a eleven and I just saw a bunch of texts…not good ones. And this was the ONE time I decided to mute my phone cos I just wanted to sleep and not think. And for three and a half hours I did! Until my roommates woke me up with their drunkness. Seriously, I feel so confined by this room. This month and a half is going to be so hard and if I can make it through this then I can make it through a lot of shit. To calm myself down and to try and fall back to sleep again (it’s working) I decided to look at pictures on Facebook of people I have never met in my life and probably will never meet, so yeah a bit weird. The pictures were of them in Mexico on their Spring Break trip and seriously MEXICO!? Are you like retarded because when you decide to go to Mexico (even if you think that the part of Mexico that you are visiting is safe) and you are fully aware of all that shit that has just taken place, you must be not with it. There really should be a Bad Choice award for people who just make a huge bad choice and the prize for winning is that you get common sense knocked into you. There will be a lot of these awards given out.

Tejas

Having been in Texas a full five days and going back tomorrow makes me excited. I am sorry, but Texas was a bore and it's my own fault. I didn't plan anything, didn't really want to do anything. On Wednesday I got another blood test done and I felt pretty bad, like pale and sickly bad, but I really didn't think anything of it. Well, on Friday I went to the kidney doctor (nephrologist, I am not stupid) and he got all serious like I started telling me that my sodium level was too low and was telling me about the complications and put me on a fluid restriction regimine. Meanwhile, my mom was sitting in the room, all wide-eyed, at attention nodding with everything he said. SO, I am now stuck on this fluid restriction and have to have more blood tests. My mom has made me tell a whole bunch of people that I might start having seizures at any given moment and really wanted to buy wanted those emergency bracelets (which I was most definitely going to wear because that is an awesome piece of bling). However, complaining at my not so bad life is not the point of this jumble of words. The point is that I can now get away with having to do a lot of things at my house and my mom treated me extra nice with good food and clothes! But I still didn't get away with doing my tax forms. Poop!